Ballad of The Flag

Some sanctimonious Councillors from up the Wyong way,
Along our great north motorway now numbered with a 1
Tried to stop a heinous practice with a motion yesterday.
Our municipality will not allow flag burning to be done!

I live in Wyong Shire and as I walk my dog each day,
I meet other happy pensioners, most with shopping bags,
I pass hordes of active children going schoolwards or at play.
But on every single corner I keep watch for burning flags.

I am very disappointed that I’ve never seen one yet.
Perhaps the Wyong residents are really cautious types?
They take their British Bulldogs to the nearest local vet
And perchance use indoor fires to burn their Stars and Stripes?

I err, it’s not all flag burners that the Councillors want to ban.
We’re free to burn the Union Jack or the Maple Leaf at will.
The Australian flag’s the basis of this great non-racist plan.
At the thought of Aussie ash – xenophobic fears can’t still.

No one can burn an Aussie flag for any so called reason.
For the flag of Aussie soldiers is a great “iconic symbol”.
Its destruction is an act almost tantamount to treason
It’s used at formal funerals and is sacred like the hymnal.

With no burning flags in sight we walk further to the beach,
And look with Aussie pride on the views that we are handed.
Golden sands and azure seas and gentle waves we reach,
And still no sign that I can see of any flaming Standard.

But lo, I spot with bursting pride two symbols of our land,
A young girl’s wearing both of them upon her fulsome tits.
The southern cross! (She must have sewn this masterpiece by hand.)
But even it’s not big enough to mask her other bits!

And her boyfriend is a patriot. They’re a natty matching pair.
He wears plain budgie smugglers, but I can see afar
He chose to have his Aussie flags on his classy underwear
And he’s taken reindeer antlers off so flags flutter on his car.

We have a strange anomaly here that needs an explanation.
You can’t burn flags to make a protest in complaint at an election,
That action would besmirch our flag, the symbol of our nation.
But pray? Run an icon up your flagpole when you’re having an erection?

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~ by Anne Powles on February 17, 2012.

One Response to “Ballad of The Flag”

  1. I needed this laugh, the third to last verse is a classic. Many thanks and I would love to see this ‘fulsome tits’ on FAcebook.

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